If you are anything like me, you have had a visit from the little perfectionism parrot more than once. It says: It needs to be just right. Do it again. Make it perfect or it won’t work. Just tweak it one more time and then you can share it. No one’s going to like it if it’s not perfect. And this little birdie is paralyzing.
Do you chronically procrastinate? Are you overly critical of every aspect of your life? Does “It’s not good enough!” ring in your mind often?
It’s natural to want things to come out swimmingly smooth and without fault, and there’s nothing wrong with having high standards for yourself and your business, but how many times has that mindset prevented you from making that post, publishing that policy, or making that big decision that you know will move the needle forward?
Perfectionism is something I have dealt with my whole life, and to be honest–it’s one of the highest forms of self-abuse I’ve put myself through.
My mom told me that literally since elementary school, my teacher would give her a call to tell her that she was concerned that I was so incredibly hard on myself and beat myself up over not getting everything perfect. I had to always be the best: the best handwriting, the best musician, the best A+ student.
Fast forward to adulthood (I will spare you the details of all my mental meltdowns for now. That’s a whole different topic!) I have let months (years, actually) go by without making a post or sending an email or telling people about an offer because it wasn’t “quite right.”
We torture ourselves by expecting imperfect people with imperfect lives and imperfect ideas to create something perfect. We torture ourselves by scrolling through social media and comparing our messy, chaotic behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reels, After all, it’s easier to see the end results of someone’s chapter 20 before you’ve started your first chapter. It makes everything seem unattainable, and seems like their overnight success didn’t come with the blood, sweat and tears of an end result.
So, how can we create a mindset that allows us to make mistakes, have flaws, and most importantly, keep moving forward without holding us hostage in stuck energy? We remove the word perfect from our dictionary and we replace it with the word progress.
Take an Imperfect Step
To overcome perfectionism, we must practice. Exposure therapy, baby. Action and confidence are the missing keys to manifestation and to embracing the concept of progress, not perfection.
My challenge to you: Within a week of reading this, willingly take an imperfect step. If you are ADHD, like me, anything other than taking action seems easier. Don’t fall for that trap. Then, let the feelings come, be curious about them, and then watch them go.
Publish your imperfect website. You can edit and tweak it later. Leave a part of the house messy. The mop will be waiting next week. Post that imperfect policy, because any boundaries are better than none. Post that imperfect social media post. Who cares if you have a pimple or messy hair?
Tweak stuff later. Getting something 90% out in the world is far better than 100% in your head, and you will feel that sigh of relief once you just do it. We can’t improve what we don’t put out into the world. We have to train ourselves to keep moving forward, and to improve things when and where we can. Being stuck on your head will mess with you mentally, and cause even more stagnation.
Realize How Far You’ve Come
A lot of times, perfectionism’s hold doesn’t allow us to remember just how far we’ve come. It’s easy to imagine what things might look like a year down the road, but you have to take the little steps now. We don’t reach a summit by magically snapping our fingers and getting to the top. We have to hike up those switchbacks and take breaks along the way.
You have come a long way. Your journey has been long and winding, you have made mistakes, grown from them, and now you’re here taking yet another beautiful step in the right direction. This is progress, not perfection in action!
My challenge to you: Give yourself a hug. Right now. Kiss yourself on the shoulder and tell yourself how proud you are. Do as Mel Robbins encourages us: high five yourself in the mirror and celebrate where you are now.
This is fertile soil for overcoming perfectionism. Remember the progress you have made and the progress you will continue to make—one imperfect step at a time.
About the Authors
Rebecca Brumfield, LMT, is the founder of Badass Bodyworkers. For more mindset tips and business mentoring, visit our free community of Badass Bodyworkers on Facebook. Her articles for MASSAGE Magazine include “5 Easy Ways to Get More Clients—Even on a Bootstrap Budget” and “10 Steps to Get from Burnout to Badass.”
Lauryn Middleton currently resides in New Orleans, Louisiana, and has a passion for energy work, intuitive writing and mentoring women in the health and wellness industry. She and has found her home in helping women grow and nurture their business. A natural word magician, Middleton uses her writing superpower to help bring visions to life through flavorful and compelling storytelling and copy.